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Earlier this month I talked about the 6 core relationships in your life. I even challenged you to think about each of these in your own life and to identify which one of these could use the most work or attention from you.I'm sure identifying the relationship wasn't too challenging. However, knowing how to take a step to improve this relationship could prove much more difficult. So today, I wanted to give a tip for each type of relationship that hopefully you can apply soon. Here are the first three...
Core relationship #1: Yourself
The key to leading and relating to ourselves well is understanding that our performance is not the same thing as our worth. Growth-oriented leaders understand perfection is unattainable and that every failure is a chance to learn and get better. However, if our identity is attached to our performance, we won't be able to accept our own inadequacies, preventing us from embracing and owning opportunities to improve in a positive way. It will also cause us to push so hard personally that we neglect the other five relationships.
💡 The tip for developing a better relationship with you is to remember that you are a human being and not a human doing, and that success comes from growing your potential daily, not in a day.
Core relationship #2: Work
I once had a boss tell me the secret to winning at work is to build "arms-length relationships." He was a really good leader and he thought it was important to get "close to people but not too close." He said you "have to keep them far enough away to be comfortable firing them if you need to."
It made sense at the time, but I have since discounted that advice. There are good reasons to have wise boundaries with the people we work with and they don't have to be our best friends, but I don't believe our fear of having to make hard decisions should be our primary driver for this.
💡 What we need to do is become the type of person who can love others well and still have the hard conversations when necessary. This is one of the toughest things a leader will ever have to do, but everyone's success and well-being is dependent on it.
Core relationship #3: Loved ones
I heard someone on the way home from work once say, I'm leaving my "part-time" job (even though he worked full-time) where I earn an income to go home to my "full-time" job where I am accountable to create an outcome.
💡 My tip is to read that ⬆️ two more times and ask yourself how you need to direct your energy toward your "no regret" family outcome because when things aren't right at home things just aren't right.
Stay tuned for my next email where I will share more about the last three core relationships.